A Study Found That Dogs Aren’t Exceptional, The Study Is Wrong

How dare you, Scientific America?

Scientific America released an article that stated “dogs are not exceptional.”

BLASPHEMY, absolute blasphemy. There are dog people and then there are stupid people. What gives someone the right to say dogs aren’t exceptional? I woke up on this Saturday, this Saturday in which Ohio State is about to win the B1G Championship and become that much closer to getting in the playoff and the first thing I did was told my dog to “get up here” from the floor to my bed. You know what she did? She got up here.

Have you ever tried telling a cat to do something? If you answered yes, you know they didn’t do it. If you answered no, you’re pretty smart for not being around cats. They shit inside after all. Other stupid pets: fish (dumbest pet of all time), I did have a pet crawdad once, it was cool though, tiny pigs, lizards, birds, and any exotic animal. Dogs are unequivocally better than any pet.

Reasons why dogs are exceptional

  • They like people
  • They listen
  • They defend
  • They shit outside
  • You can teach them tricks
  • Mine can open doors
  • They’re cute
  • You get the point

What makes something exceptional anyways? Just look how cute that dog is. Tell me she’s not exceptional.


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