Blogs, Pop Culture

The Things That Matter: Colin Kaepernick’s Nike Deal Is Causing People To Boycott Nike, But You Should Be Boycotting Something Else

On this edition of The Things That Matter I would like to tell you what really matters with the Colin Kaepernick deal. To be honest, I forgot about Colin for a while. It wasn’t because MSESPN quit talking about him, or because NFL players quit kneeling, because neither of those things happened. It was because I was boycotting Hotels without good Continental Breakfasts.

Have you ever went to a hotel and woke up in the morning and had a real hankering for some delicious breakfast foods? Whether it be a nice sausage patty or some eggs over easy? Me too. But guess what. Continental breakfasts don’t include those things. I am always forced to settle for greasy sausage links and scrambled eggs that come from a carton. It’s really sad.

At least you can get a real waffle, too bad you have to stand in line behind a woman with a bob haircut and her 7 bratty snot nosed kids fingering everything up. Yeah, I can’t wait to use one of those forks that Carol’s kids just touched. You know not all of them have had a shower. How do you have time to get 7 kids and your self cleaned up and still make it to breakfast. Simple; you don’t. All the while Carol’s husband is up in the room pissed off at the world staring at his packed bag thinking “Now is my chance to get away.” But he doesn’t leave because he knows Carol has had a private investigator on retainer for that exact reason for years. On his dime, nonetheless. I’m just sitting over here already feeling sick from my scrambled eggs and turkey bacon.

Colin’s kneeling should be the least of our concern when we still have things like this going on. Nike is just trying to distract us from the real problems and it’s sickening. For years I have been against such breakfasts and it’s time you join me in this fight.

And the cups are way too small.


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