Blogs, politics, Pop Culture, Sports

Ted Cruz Challenges Jimmy Kimmel To A Game Of “Hoops”

I bet you thought since it’s my birthday I wouldn’t be blogging. You’re wrong though. It only makes me work harder.

Lyin’ Ted Cruz has challenged Jimmy Kimmel to a game of, in his words “one-on-one hoops.” People forget that other than being the Zodiac Killer, Ted Cruz is also Grayson Allen’s father. It’s safe to assume Grayson Allen learned the trip move from his Zodiac Killer turned politician father. Although, the Zodiac Killer used rope to trip people, and guns among other weapons, but that’s a story for another time.

If I had to think of two people who are the least athletic people to play a game of one-on-one these would be the two. Kimmel and Cruz, neither one look like they have much athletic skill. But, everyone knows at least one chubby guy who shows up to play pickup games and is sneaky athletic and can drain threes. I’d like to see both guys be that, but I’m having a hard time imagining it. The dress code will make it rather interesting as well.

This has to be televised too. I imagine several dribbles off the foot, uncalled hard fouls where “no blood, no foul” is said each time, along with a lot of heavy breathing and a hot dog break halfway through. Please, God let this happen.

Jimmy Kimmel denied to comment when asked by me. He doesn’t want to get those ankles snatched.

By the way, it’s my birthday. Incase anyone was wondering.


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