Blogs, politics, Pop Culture

Why Are Millennials Blamed For Everything?

Is it our excellent fashion sense, our flawless technological skills? Maybe it’s our uncanny ability to navigate social media without using only our pointer fingers, I don’t know…

From department stores to now, toy stores. From the election to bar soap. From marriage to the Big Mac (thank God I had one the other day before it was killed), us millennials have been blamed for their recession. Before I go any further, I need to address the elephant in the room, bars of soap are disgusting and no one should’ve ever used them in the first place, slippery too. Now, we haven’t ruined anything! If anything I would argue we have made the world better.

Department stores? No thanks. You think I would want to go somewhere and be forced to make small talk with numerous random people, make awkward eye contact with more strangers, have to touch door handles that have definitely not been cleaned in years? Yeah, I’ll pass. The absolute worst thing about department stores though, I have to get out of the recliner. If you truly enjoyed shopping at stores, who hurt you?

I’m not sure how we killed the Big Mac, other than it getting smaller, I’m not sure much has changed about it in years. Still the same good ol’ fake meat, wilted lettuce, slices of cheese half way off the burger and delicious special sauce we have all come to love/eat when we are too lazy to cook something for ourselves.

The list goes on forever. How were people who created these huge department stores supposed to know that eventually something better would come along and make them outdated? Even FDR didn’t know that people would start trying to live on Social Security after working for 25 years. Just take your retirement, abundance of land, houses and cars and leave us alone.

What do we want to take down next? I say it’s time to go for jobs! Oh wait I guess we already killed those too.

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