Sports, Uncategorized

Tebow vs Wilson: Who Is The Best Minor League Baseball Playing Quarterback?

If I told you there was a battle between Russell Wilson and Tim Tebow you’d probably think it was something like “who can stay celibate the longest” or “who can pray the most in one day” but it is actually a war for, it’s a nice name for a war too, who is the better minor league baseball playing quarterback?

As head deacon of the Church of Tebow I am obligated to say Tim is better. Have you heard anything about Russell Wilson making it to the pro team? Me either.

Tebow: 1 Wilson:0

Secondly, Tebow is a better man. He has remained celibate, while Wilson has not, as he has a kid. I’ll add a disclaimer though: people say the kid is Future’s. For the sake of this argument however, I say it’s Russell’s. Therefore,

Tebow:2 Wilson:0

The third statistic that shows Tebow’s superiority is I found over 30 different photos of Tim Tebow praying. When I did the same search for photos of Wilson praying I only found around 20 different photos. Also, I award Tebow one bonus point for having a picture of him praying in a baseball uniform. Clearly that makes him better. Does Russell not pray during baseball? We need to be asking ourselves this question during this debate.

Tebow:4 Wilson:0

Last, but certainly not least, Tim has hit way more spring training batting practice home runs. This is a major stat category for this type of debate. Videos of these guys hitting these home runs get played all over the news.

There you have it, folks. It was a landslide, a blood-of-the-lamb-bath, if you will.

Final Score: Tebow 5 Wilson 0

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